We had 58 inches of snow in Angeltown last night, so they cancelled school.
Here’s the old method of finding out they cancelled school:
1) wake up at the regular time
2) notice white stuff outside
3) listen to radio or TV to figure out if school is cancelled, or look online
4) wish you’d known that earlier so you could have slept in
How horribly inefficient! This is the new method:
1) wake up to shrilling telephone at 5:30 AM
2) listen to the following: “This is a recorded message from Fred Snerd, Grand Poobah of the Angeltown School District. Due to snow, school today will be closed. Please feel free to sleep in.”
3) get all the Kiddos back to bed and lie awake listening to the snow plows until whatever time you would have gotten awake, occasionally fielding questions about whether they can play in the snow yet or if they should wait until the sun comes up
Here’s my suggested replacement method:
1) oversleep by an hour and a half on the snowed-in morning
2) awaken to the gentle touch of one’s guardian angel, who says, “Don’t worry. You overslept, but school has been cancelled. Knowing you’ll need a lot of energy to deal with the kids because of how excited they’ll be, I’ve taken the liberty of putting your children into a deep sleep for now. I’ve brewed your coffee, and I thought you might appreciate a Cinnabon.”
3) have coffee and Cinnabon in bed while doing the newspaper’s crossword puzzle with one’s guardian angel
Any ideas on how to approach the school board with this new plan? Let me know so I can drop them a line in between baking Christmas cookies and playing with the Kiddos in the fluffy white cold stuff.
