clean teeth and free opinions (why have three kids)

We took the Kiddos for their semiannual dental checkups, and now all have clean teeth.

Afterward, I went ahead to the secretary’s desk to drop off the paperwork and get new appointments. One gentleman was checking out in front of me, so when Kiddo#1 and Kiddo#2 caught up, I looked down the hall, flagged my Patient Husband (coming with Kiddo#3) and said, “You guys go wait out in the waiting area,” and then told the closest two Kiddos to go get their coats.

The gentleman reacted as if I’d just brought an entire preschool: wow, didn’t I have SO MANY kids, and boy wasn’t I going to take a hit whenever I took them to the dentist (nope, but my dental insurance provider does) and I just laughed. Asked how many people were on a football team. He guessed eleven. I said, “Then I’ve got quite a ways to go!”

He gasped, “No, don’t do THAT!”

I pointed out that in the sequel to Casey At The Bat, Casey has nine daughters, and they form a baseball team.

The secretary said we could shoot for our own hockey team.

The man then volunteered that since he hadn’t had any kids, I could have one for him.

Gee, thanks.

For the record, we brought THREE children to the dentist. Not thirty children. Kiddo#4 does not, at the moment, have any teeth, nor could they be cleaned if s/he had them. The only thing I can figure is that the man never saw my Patient Husband clearly, only out of the corner of his eye, and figured that was my teenage son. Bringing us up to a whopping four.

The Kiddos were not misbehaving nor even talking. They just filed out to the waiting room (them and my Patient Husband) and no one was disrupted because of them. The man simply thought it funny that I could pop out children the way a clown car disgorges clowns. I’m glad he didn’t notice I’m pregnant.

One of the most frequent search tags used to find my weblog is “three children”. Why to have them, how to decide to have them, the downsides and the benefits of them. As if they’re assets to be tallied up on your spreadsheet. In the next few days, I’m going to address the question straight-on: why have three children? Why, heavens to betsy, have four? Why not have a whole football team?

I think we’re going to have some fun!


  1. Nina

    The question, is how many football players are you going to have, lo. You know that there’s only eleven on the field at any given time, but there can be quite a few more than that… 😉 Make sure you get your second string.

  2. knit_tgz

    When I was a teen, I wanted (gasp) twelve children. No less. Now that I am 31, and single (and both my boyfriend and I have very precarious jobs, so no discussion of marriage for now), my dream would be somewhere in the 4-6 children range. (Even my rational boyfriend believes that it would be good to have at least three kids). Of course, I do not tell this to most people I know. Being in Europe, where most couples have zero or one kid…