Yesterday we spent twenty-five minutes in the attic getting down all the baby gear we have from Kiddos Number 1 through 3, in preparation for giving birth in a couple of weeks.
Based on what we have brought down from the attic, I am shocked, awed, and frankly terrified.
Blankets. Sheets. Infant carriers. Bouncy seats. Things that make noise. Things that are soft and cute. Slings. Educational and colorfully-stimulating things that make a pleasing clacking sound. Stuff that emulates mom’s heartbeat. Outfits. Sleepers. Onesies. Socks. Waterproofing stuff. Cloth diapers and cloth wipes.
That’s gear that works for the first three months. I haven’t gotten down the activity gyms, the exersaucer, the high chair…
The Kiddo is more than all set. The child hasn’t been born yet, and already it owns (and according to the magazines, actually requires) more tonnage of gear than I do, and that includes my minivan.
Last night, as I lay in bed, I could hear the house groaning. I thought it was the wind, but I was wrong. This morning, the ceilings are eight inches taller than they were yesterday. All that gear is now out of the attic and on the ground floor, so the beams are standing straighter, taller. With the weight off, the house is relaxing to its full height.
Remember when I could run errands with only my wallet? I’m gonna miss those days.
People ask me if we’ve registered, and I reply that we registered in the Philangelus Attic. Now it’s the living room that we’re registered in as I sort mint green outfits too small for anyone to really fit (I mean, seriously — they’re TINY! And yet I know Kiddo#3 wore them!) and I’m getting weepy and scared and wondering what the heck we were thinking. I can’t even take care of the cats the way they like, and yet I’m going to be responsible for another human?
No wonder I need all this gear. It’s protective armor for the baby, shielding it from Mom’s relative stupidity.
Because every baby is different. Even when you know the ropes, they’re always different and they’ll always throw you a curve ball.
All that baby gear, and really, the only thing I need right now is prayer. Lots of it.