On Mother’s Day, as we left Angeltown to visit our favorite restaurant, a pickup truck passed us on the highway bearing a bumper sticker which proclaimed, “My other toy has t1ts.”
(I am a prude, but my real issue for the creat1ve spe11ling is that I don’t want search engines to pick up the correctly-spelled word. I already get an inordinate number of hits for “excited angels,” and that bothers me.)
My Patient Husband and I were both unsettled by the bumper sticker. But in reality I think we need to thank this gentleman for alerting the women of the world as to what they can expect if they date him. To whit:
- That he considers his Ford 250 to be a toy, and therefore doesn’t take his driving seriously.
- That he considers women to be frivolous, without feelings, and unworthy of respect.
- That he has no respect for a woman’s body parts and refers to them in a derogatory fashion.
- That he has no respect for a woman’s feelings because he feels free to degrade her by talking about her as “a toy” on the back of his vehicle.
- That he sees the need to shock total strangers or else does not care if they are upset by what is commonly considered vulgar language.
That’s a lot of mileage to get out of one eight-by-three sticker, no?
My Patient Husband wondered aloud why there’s a subculture in America which encourages men to act like pigs. (He wants me to tell you: on behalf of all men everywhere, he would like to apologize.)
I’m trying to imagine a guy bragging to his male friends about his bumper sticker, laughing it up over a beer during a commercial break while watching football. I wondered if the woman in question (if she exists at all: she might not) felt degraded. But then again, it’s entirely possible that the “toy” referred to in the bumper sticker just rolls her eyes at the guy’s juvenile behavior and takes a “what can you expect?” attitude about him. She may not respect him either. She doesn’t expect any better from him, so he doesn’t work hard to meet her expectations. Perhaps they deserve one another.
All this leads to my final conclusion about what that bumper sticker means: that the man who put it there has no respect for himself. That he has no expectations (and hence no realistic chance) of forging a lasting bond with a partner whom he considers his equal. He will never struggle to win the heart of a woman he feels lucky to be with, and in effect, when hard times come, he will have no one to lean on, no one who has his back (other than those equally-shallow beer-drinking buddies who laughed at the ‘t1ts’ line).
When he wants to get someone’s opinion, will it be from his “toy”? When he’s unsure about a difficult choice (to find a new job, to relocate) will he consider asking his “toy” or will he find himself alone? When he needs to open his heart, will he open it to his “toy”? Eventually he’ll wonder about that hollow in his life.
He’ll probably try to fill it with another toy.