Everything happens at once

Stress.

Last night, we signed paperwork to sell our house. We’ve lived here ten years. Today we will put the bid on the new house. I’ve been speaking to lenders. We’re preapproved twice already, but I’m looking for places where we might get a break on any of the closing costs or points or anything.

My romantic comedy series recently celebrated its one-year anniversary with the publishing house that’s considering it. (This isn’t the editor’s fault. Usually a writer can say, “The editor was slow” but this time there were other circumstances.) The agent told me yesterday that we should have a final-final answer “today or tomorrow” and since I didn’t hear back yesterday, that means “today” except that I’ve come to mentally expand any estimation of time by 400%. I’m figuring Friday or next Monday. That doesn’t stop me from being tense.

Given these two situations, but mostly the house, it’s no wonder I’m stressed up to my eyeballs. I’ve been having vivid, strange (and sometimes horrible) dreams. Dreams involving houses that fall down and children that get lost. Last night I was involved in a landslide, and I was clinging to the ground between two people: a bereaved mom and a baseball player, and I was trying to explain to the baseball player that the bereaved mom was feeling emotionally fragile and she wanted him to promise he’d come back to her.

Right. Then I awaken exhausted, and it’s time to write a weblog entry, only I have no ideas. Apparently my dreaming brain has used up all of them. 🙁

Real estate is the polar opposite of book publishing: things happen fast. You make an offer on a house and the agent acts as if the paperwork is on fire and you must sign before it burns to a crisp. Whereas if you offer a book for sale… Well, happy anniversary, manuscript!

So how is it that two deals seem to be going under contract in the same week? (Or, alternatively, two deals seem to be falling apart in the same week, and I’ll need to start shopping two things at the same time.)

Meanwhile, I have a postpartum checkup today for me, and I had a well-baby appointment for Kiddo#4 yesterday, only they were so delayed that now it’s rescheduled for tomorrow. Being a neurotic person, I’m worried that the medical professionals will get one look at either or both of us, gasp, and then go back to hiding whatever terrible truth I’m failing to see.

The truth is, I’m just stressed right now. No funny or sarcastic entry today. Just a very frazzled me.

I’ll get over it. In two weeks, all these things will be settled. It’s the unsettledness that’s tough to handle.

12 Comments

  1. karen ^.,.^

    (((HUGS)))

  2. xdpaul

    Ugh. Vivid stress dreams. Lovely. I had one last night about a horizon filled with thirteen tornados that just kept coming and coming and coming, wrenching asunder everything in their zigzag paths. The stressful part was that I was expecting company.

    God clothes the lillies. He’ll clothe you too. May the hard time make your joy, when it comes, sweeter.

    Of course, there’s that bit about rejoicing always, but I think there’s an exception clause when it comes to home switching and publishing houses. But I have one of those contemporary bible translations, you know the kind where Jesus turns water into Coke Zero and Pilate is villified for writing an unfavorable blog review of the revival of Godspell. So I may not have the most accurate take on things.

  3. grinningcomb

    *hugs, big hugs* Crossing fingers and toes and sending good thoughts your way.

  4. illya

    Those who love you are stressed on your behalf. And they have been praying and praying for you, dear soul so far away that you cannot be physically hugged and gently kissed. As you stated above, it will all be over soon–at least the uncertainty will. For now, see if, like Jane Eyre, you can reach beyond time and space to hear the cheers and good wishes that those who are cheering for your succes are shouting in their minds.

  5. philangelus

    Thanks, all. I’ll be less whiney tomorrow.

    The midwife appt went okay. And on the way home, I stopped at a bookstore and sold three books. They’ll put them on the shelves there.

    A little bit at a time, it’ll all be in the past. Xdpaul, I’m going to try to rejoice in all things (although not Coke Zero!) but it’s hard to say “Thank you, God, for this stress” without sounding unbelievably sarcastic.

    Next up: grocery shopping with a four year old and an infant (who, I now know, weighs 16 pounds at 9 weeks.) Because that’s going to be less stressful than thinking about houses of either the living-in or the publishing variety.

    Tomorrow’s entry will either be “cute” or “funny.” I hope.

  6. karen ^.,.^

    but jane, even it it’s not cute, funny, sarcastic or light – hearted, what we look for here is YOU. so be you and we will keep loving and supporting you. that’s why we pray for you, send good thoughts to you, cross fingers and toes and any other joints that can be crossed for you – because you’ve been real (or as real as one can be in a blog situation). we wish your family well. we want you to have a house that will make you feel like you’ve found a real, true home. we want you to succeed as a writer (possibly selfishly because then we get to read what you write). we want you to be spiritually blessed and nourished. but if you aren’t feeling so great, so be it. we won’t abandon you. that’s not what friends do. ((more hugs))

  7. Jenni

    Adding my “hear hear” to everyone’s comments (though I’d like to have a looksee at xdpaul’s translation – might be a rip off of the lolbible “I can haz a coke n smyl n stuf”). 🙂

    Don’t forget to cast your care on God – you can only do so much (one thing at a time) but He can juggle.

    *HUGS*

  8. Kit

    Jane…buying and selling real estate is a HAIRY-HAIRY! (LOL!!!) So’s moving. But once it’s over and you’re relaxing and looking out into your beautiful new back yard, it’ll be worth it.

    Hang in there!

    ((hugs!!!))
    Kit

  9. xdpaul

    Hairy-hairy. Well played!

    Also, to be clear, I’m a Revised Orthodox Freethought Lolbible (ROFL)translation-only Christian. The KJV-only crowd is a little too inclusive for my comfort.

    John 21:11 “…but although there were so many, the ‘Net was not torn.”

  10. philangelus

    You guys are making me giggle. 🙂

    Thanks for putting up with my whining. This too shall pass. God had someone in mind for this house, and he has a house in mind for us. He has a plan for the books. He’ll work it all out.

    Until then, I’m having Entenmann’s crumb cake for dessert because it’s good comfort food.

  11. CricketB

    Huggs on the house. It honestly is appropriate to grieve at the loss of the old one. We only moved across town, and I went totally nuts. (Even cried on the shoulder of daughter’s kindergarten teacher.) All the moves as a kid and young adult were easy. The house I brought my babies home to, not so easy.

  12. knit_tgz

    Take care. Every life change is stressing, not sleeping well is stressing, I hope you are feeling more serene today.

    Hugs!

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