weblog tour: your past self

A weblog tour question I’m late in answering:

“If you could go back and inhabit the body of your younger self, when would you go and what would you do?”

Good grief. Bean me with a tough question, why don’t you? ūüėČ

I guess the answer depends on whether I can retain some knowledge from the future in my past self.

I’ve known for a long time that if you sent me back in time, discounting the random choices, I would probably remake all the same bad decisions I’ve made previously in my life. Unless the question is just “relive your life forward from point X” then I need to assume some knowledge gets retained. But the drawback to that is how difficult it would be to inhabit an eight year old body and have a thirty year old’s understanding of the world. For one thing, if my parents thought I was a difficult kid back then, I’d be an impossible know-it-all once you add in that I really do know it all. ūüôā¬†

And is there a time limit on how long I can remain there? Must I live straight forward through the rest of my life again? I assume yes, because if I were to make big changes, I’d have to follow them through to the end.

I’m overthinking this question at this point. If I had to go back just to relive a time in my life, it would be to the summer when I was 16 and first knew about my guardian angel, my first job, and a summer of freedom on the subways and an old book store and snapple Tru Root Beer. I learned a lot, had more free time than I’d ever have again, a job I enjoyed, and I was making friends with an angel. You can’t beat that, except…

I might re-do my second and third years of college. Again, learning a lot, feeling confident in my own abilities, ditching a bad-fit boyfriend and spending time learning about myself. Being independent to some extent (well, as independent as you can be when your parents are paying your tuition) and learning, learning, learning. Plugging in my faith and living it for once. And that was the time when I met my Patient Husband, too!

If I had to go back to make changes, I’m not sure where I’d make the changes. Changing things early on would have greater impact, but I really don’t know where I’d make them or how. It would be nice to go back and convince my twelve year old self not to abandon the violin, or convince the five year old me that she hadn’t caused her parent’s divorce, or change a few incidents from the months earlier that resulted in eight years of bullying at school.¬†

But it’s hard to tell. I still think that if I went back in time, I’d make the same mistakes all over again. Or similar ones. In essence, I’m still the same person I was as a kid, only more experienced.

Other stops on the weblog tour are:
http://meganeileen2005.typepad.com/  twinkletoes
http://thatsloanegirl.blogspot.com/   CathyF
http://wryexchange.com/   Wry Exchange
http://www.absentmindedhousewife.com/  beckygoesape
http://verycontrary.wordpress.com/  Contrary
http://amandagorby.blogspot.com/  amanda_tg                 
http://whatsmylife.blogspot.com/ grinningcomb
http://nolechica.livejournal.com  nolechica
http://addierambles.blogspot.com  andra
http://la-eme.livejournal.com   MsMoonbunny
http://philangelus.wordpress.com/ Tabris
http://mischief0617.wordpress.com/  CrowGirl
http://www.housewife2000.blogspot.com   housewife2k
http://fatgirlartist.blogspot.com/  Amy Rose
http://lulupop.wordpress.com  Lulupop
http://chrisnada.livejournal.com/  Cnada
http://robandkrista.blogspot.com/  CelticGemini
http://anime-coroner.livejournal.com/. AllyKat
http://www.drunkenhousewife.com/ The Drunken Housewife
http://ladyj3000.blogspot.com/   LadyJ3000
http://heartstart.livejournal.com  Heartstar1
http://hijinksshenanigans.blogspot.com/¬† Hijinks’s Shenanigans
http://deltatangosgbs.blogspot.com/  afbluebelle
http://sarahesperanza.wordpress.com/ SquishyMooMoo
http://www.dutifuldanielle.blogspot.com/ dpbenson
http://sinkingtent.blogspot.com/ ladiedeathe
http://divine-misse.livejournal.com Shotochick (only readable by those that have a livejournal account)
http://mrsbart.blogspot.com/ MrsBart
http://rainhaville.blogspot.com  RainhaDoTuxedo
http://kimberlysstories.wordpress.com  Kherbert05

0 Comments

  1. knit_tgz

    Whenever I wonder that, I am always afraid that, if changing my choices, I would not have converted.

    But if allowed to know all I know now (I would have two sets of memories, then?), then I would know I need God and the Church, so maybe I would go back to 2004 when I started living on my own. I would take better care of myself, exercise more and I would not have gone back together with my then-boyfriend, avoiding a lot of later hurt and mistakes (but in order to avoid them I would have to remember them, does that defeat the purpose?) and keeping him as a close friend, instead of years later having a hard breakup that left us both as friends who avoid each other because it hurts.

    I would not want to go back to childhood, I really prefer being older ūüôā Of course, I would like all that freedom for a few months, but then I think I would get bored…

  2. Jason Block

    The correct answer, is no. I wouldn’t. But after thinking about it. There would be one time. I would like to just go back and visit with my best friend, Dana. She died at age 20 from Brain Cancer. I would just like to tell her again that I cared for her very much and maybe say goodbye again in the proper way. Not that I didn’t do it right the first time, but you know.

  3. philangelus

    Good point, Jason. If I could return to the past, maybe the time would be best spent just being with Emily again: pregnant with her, playing with her, giving birth to her, and spending those two hours with her. Feeling the weight of her in my arms again and the sweet smell of her.

    Because it hurt, but over time, it’s mellowed and now in my head it’s a “good” pain, a bittersweetness.

  4. CricketB

    I think the hours and hours I spent in online RP when the kids were tiny, including the hours in my character’s head, even when my body was offline. I don’t think I learned much I didn’t already know, other than I was right to be hesitant about starting it. So many lost opportunities!

    Other than that, I’d change nothing. I like where I am.

    Although the five minutes I made a deal with son about money for printing practice is tempting. I should have written it down. Would have avoided a big fight today.

  5. Diinzumo

    If I could go back, knowing what I know now, I would go back to 1992. I would be happy in my job, kinder to my landladies, and more secure in myself. I would stay put longer, too, and hopefully not make the huge mistakes I made after returning to the US.