Bucky: Do you think they remember us?
Lee: No one could possibly forget us. For one thing, we have our own cool logo, and no one else who posts on this blog has a logo.
Bucky: Well, in case they forgot, you and I are the two main characters of Jane’s novel Honest And For True.
Lee: Hi, everyone! Bucky is my awesome guardian angel.
Bucky: Do you see that little counter in the side bar?
Lee: “The New Novel.” Oh my goodness! Are we going to be in another novel? How awesome! I wonder what I get to do this time!
Bucky: Not us.
Lee: No?
Bucky: But it’s got another human-guardian pair as the main characters.
And apparently they get to have an adventure.
Lee: She never sent us on an adventure.
Bucky: I think she kind of did.
Lee: Really?
Bucky: Your life is one adventure after the next. You just don’t go anywhere to have them.
Lee: Oh, sure. So I get to face The Man Eating Sedan Of Doom, and I get the most romantic toilet-fixing scene in the English language, and I have to go to a restaurant where I can’t pronounce anything on the menu except for the prices, and — Okay, so maybe we do some adventure stuff. But this other guardian-charge pair gets the whip and the fedora and they go running around chasing artifacts through Mayan temples?
Bucky: No Mayan temples either. You know, I think I’d look good in a fedora.
Lee: You would totally rock in a fedora, but that’s not the point. My point —
Bucky: I think I’ll get a fedora.
Lee: Where are you going to get a fedora?
Bucky: Ebay.
Lee: They don’t have ebay in Heaven.
Bucky: We call it hbay.
Lee: And you make payments through praypal?
Bucky: Are you quite through?
Lee: Can I see God’s feedback? “#1 A+ SELLER! Would do business again!” “Awesome Creator of whole universe fast shipping, too.” And on His listings, “I have 100% positive feedback.”
Bucky: 99.999% positive. There’s at least one who decided not to do business again.
Lee: Oooh. Sobering thought.
Bucky: Look, here’s my fedora!
Lee: That is fast shipping! And yeah, you do make it look good. Nice leather jacket too. But can we just get to the meat of this: what is Jane writing about?
Bucky: A hard-headed midwife is approached by an angel to help him retrieve a relic of Saint Peter of Verona that was looted from an Italian church during World War II. But she doesn’t want to do it.
Lee: HAH! What kind of idiot would argue with an angel?
Bucky: …
Lee: …
Bucky: …
Lee: So, hey, have I mentioned what a lovely fedora you’re wearing?
Bucky: Anyhow, Jane wants everyone to yell at her if she stops writing the story for too long, pending repair of her exploding tooth and all that. And to wish her luck, too.
Lee: Easy stuff. But I’ve got to run now. Bring your fedora: I think I’ve got an appointment at work with the man-eating sedan of doom.
Bucky: I’ll bring the whip too. You never know.
Best of luck!
… but what is a relic query?
Oh, goodness. That pun is so bad that I’m changing the quest. Instead they’re going to go look for the last cigar smoked by Pope Whatever the Somethingth.
You shouldn’t start off a project with a quest-shun.
Keep going. I need to see how many query/quest puns you can come up with. 🙂
I can’t comply with your re-quest…
Hysterical!!!!!!!!
Pingback: Our Lady of Perpetual Coincidence « Seven angels, four kids, one family