A Cardiology Timeline

September 2012, at checkout:

Receptionist: We’ll book your follow-up appointment for a year from now.

Me: Dr. D turfed me out to another doctor, so I don’t need a follow-up appointment.

Receptionist: No, Dr. D prefers to see all his patients again after a year. You’re booked for Sept 8, 2013.

February, 2013: 

Dr. Specialist: After performing every single test your insurance will pay for, I conclude you’re normal. No follow-ups necessary unless things change.

Me: YAY!

May, 2013: 

Dr. D’s Receptionist: I’m sorry to bother you, but it turns out September 8th won’t work for the follow-up. How about September 13th?

Me: Okay.


Me: It turns out I can’t do September 13th and I’d like to reschedule.

Receptionist: December 10th works.

Me: Good thing I don’t actually need to come in, huh?


Receptionist: I apologize for the call, but December 10th won’t work. Can we move your appointment ahead one week, to December 3rd?

Me: Sure, that’s fine.

December 2nd: 

Me: That’s funny — my appointment isn’t noted on the medical network website.

December 3rd: 

Me: Do I actually have an appointment in an hour?

Receptionist: I can’t find you in our system at all.

Me {helpless laughter}

Receptionist: Um…

Me: How’s January looking?

In all fairness, if this has to happen to someone, I’m glad it’s me and not somebody who truly needs to see a cardiologist. The doctor’s only going to come into the exam room and do the medical equivalent of a Kermit-The-Frog-type arm-flail and shout “Will you get out of my office!?!” But I couldn’t stop laughing on the phone. Next stop: January.


  1. C. M. Keller

    My daughter sees a cardiologist. Thankfully, they’re slightly more organized (because she does need to see the doctor), but she’s had to remind the receptionist, “No my appointment will work because the cardiologist’s conference is in the morning. She’ll be back in the afternoon.” Then, the receptionist looked up the doctor’s schedule and says, “Oh, wow, you’re right.”