Angels and time

I get in trouble every time I tell this story, so I’ll post it on the weblog and get in mega-trouble.

There’s an old trick where someone who needs to awaken by a certain time asks his or her guardian angel to wake him up at that time.

Example 1: my stepfather’s friend had a ton of homework to do in high school; naturally, he worked hard all night. No, wait–actually, he lied to his mother and hung out with his friends. Then he asked his guardian angel to awaken him at 5 AM so he could do his homework before school.

And the angel did.

Friend had a crucifix over his bed. The angel woke him at exactly 5 AM by dropping the crucifix on his head.

Example 2: While in high school, my mom had a friend who also needed to awaken early to finish her homework (note: finish–she’d actually started.) My mom’s friend figured she needed to awaken at 5:15 to get it all done.

She awakened like a gunshot at 3:25 AM, ready to do homework.

After a little confused staring at the clock, my mom’s friend came to an awful realization: her guardian angel had mixed up the clock hands.

(Turn it around in your head: big hand on the five, little hand on the three. Yes, those were the “dark ages.”)

The story-telling always stops there, so I don’t know if the guardian awoke her again at 5:15 as asked.

Example 3: This is the reason I get in trouble: I laugh like crazy when telling the story in example #2 because it’s just so cute. I think it’s funny because only God is perfect, so when a creature five to ten times smarter than I am messes up something like clock hands, it’s a little comforting. It makes them a lot more “reachable” in my head.

And I would guess someone thought his honor was on the line after I told that last story:due to incredibly bad timing on my part, the next night I asked him to make sure I got out of bed by 6:35 AM.

And like my mom’s friend, like a gunshot I awoke at 3:56.

I got a glance at the clock and heard in my head, “Ha-ha. I can’t tell time.”

I can’t remember if I replied “Very funny” or something more rude, but I fell right back to sleep afterward. And then at 6:35, I felt prompted again: this was really the right time, and I’d better get the day started.

{The second helping of angels and time}
{The third helping of angels and time}