This is the second time this week I’ve been surprised by The Wittenburg Door putting up one of my previously-published pieces, and I’m thrilled. I give you The Gold-Star Saints, a very serious news article about what happens when God reads a book about the self-esteem initiative.
Okay, fine, it’s not serious at all. I’d just really had it up to here with all those stickers.
“As it turned out,” the Lord said, “tossing sinners into Hell was seriously damaging their self-esteem.”
No, really? Of course, being a smart-alec, I couldn’t leave it at that.
Support for the initiative came from at least one surprising source.
“This initiative couldn’t have come soon enough,” said the original Prince of Darkness, Satan, who wept openly at the press conference. Satan wore a “Nice try!” sticker, “If I’d had one of these way back when, things could have been different. A lot different.”
This was one of those pieces where I giggled madly as I typed. I’m thrilled that they’ve put it online.