Kiddo#3 speaks up

And this, folks, is how the world works when you’re three-turning-four:

“I don’t like this sweater. It’s making me fuzzy.”

“I come in bed with Momma when it dark. I scary!”

“When you go to bed, your tireds make you sleep. If you don’t have any tireds, then you have to make yourself sleep.”

In response to “What did you get for your birthday?”:

(Well, it was the only way his world changed. Previously, he only got half a vitamin.)

me: Did someone have a birthday at school today?
K#3: Deckwin. He was the wine weeder.

(I have to admit, I’m going to be sad when he loses the cute phrases, like the syllable reversal in “You got-for to get my mittens!” and calling spaghetti “bweggi.”

When my brother made sergeant on the police force, he had portraits taken, and my mother gave me one. Because I didn’t have a frame handy, I stood the picture near our Wall Of Photos to wait for its frame. Kiddo#3 looked at it and laughed.

Patient Husband: That’s Uncle Officer.
Kiddo#3: Why he being a police?
PH: Because that’s his job.
Kiddo#3: {laughs raucously} No, why he wearing a police hat?
PH: That’s really his job. He’s really a police officer.
Grandma: That’s what he does.
Kiddo#3: {utterly convulsed with giggles} He do it for Halloween?

You see, in Kiddo#3’s world, a police officer is something you dress up as. And you drive around town in a cool car. They’re characters on his TV programs. You can’t *be* one any more than you could be a dragon, a robot alien, or a fire fighter. Such things don’t exist in Kiddo#3’s word, and therefore, there could only be one solution, which is that Uncle Officer was playing dress-up for Halloween, and sent us a photo. Trick or treat!


  1. ivyreisner

    Hee! That’s too cute. I love the metathesis things kids come out with. “Pasghetti” and all that.

  2. xdpaul

    The “Whole Vitamin” bit is a riot. I can totally relate. That was the big deal with my three-year-old.

    “He do it for halloween?” Those little guys are like raising goblins.