On Etiquettehell, one of the common complaints is tract-tipping. I’ve heard of that done on Customers_suck, too, but I can’t go there anymore, so I don’t know if that’s still a common complaint.
Since everyone who comes here is a decent human being, you don’t know that tract-tipping is when someone “tips” a server by leaving a tract on the table, or by witnessing to the waiter or waitress to accept Jesus Christ as their personal Lord and Savior.
It’s not just waitstaff, either. A Christian writers conference I went to had problems getting cabs to take attendees from the conference center to the train station or the airport because of the drivers not getting tipped! The woman running the conference had to ask during her opening address that everyone tip the drivers.
I find this abhorrent because “the worker is worth his hire” and people who do this are stiffing the person who relies on tips. You know, “selling the needy for a pair of sandals.” It’s a far better witness to treat others fairly and let them figure out for themselves that you’re doing it because Jesus told you to get a stranglehold on your more selfish instincts. As Saint Francis of Assisi said, “Preach the Gospel at all times. If necessary, use words.”
This came up again at etiquettehell, and someone asked, “What if the server is a Christian? Do they tip then?” and another person replied, “They’d probably find a way to complain even if Jesus was their server.”
At which point, I came up with this, and I’m copying it here because it was well-received *and* I’ve got a ton of stuff to do with the move and so had my eye out for an easy weblog entry.
Cheapskate: Are you a Christian?
Jesus: Well, yes. I’m Jesus Christ.
Jesus: The greatest will serve as the least, and I’ve seen the way you treat servers, so I’ve given Cheryl the night off, and tonight I’ll be your server. May I take your order?
Cheapskate: What denomination are you?
Jesus, ignoring the question: I recommend you try the salmon, but I’ll ask the chef to prepare it without so much butter due to your cholesterol… Actually, I’ll just lower your cholesterol for you so you can have it with the butter. Here’s a basket of bread that will never run out.
Cheapskate: I’d like a glass of red wine.
Jesus: Take a sip from your water glass and you’ll be pleasantly surprised.
Cheapskate: So you’re already saved?
Cheapskate: You don’t want my tract?
Jesus: Don’t need it.
Cheapskate: I didn’t see you at church this Sunday.
Jesus: No, somehow I didn’t think you had.
(And yes, before anyone points it out, I know Jesus was Jewish. But he could honestly say he follows the teachings of Jesus, since, you know…being Jesus and all…)