the post that isn’t

I wrote something fantastically funny, scheduled it to post, and hit “publish.”

About ten minutes later, I had second thoughts. Not because it wasn’t funny, or because it was too private, but because I suddenly had the thought, “I might get paid for that.”

I hate being this way, but if I publish in an online magazine, I get a writing credit. The cash isn’t so much here or there (er, unless you’re an editor reading this, in which case, I require lots and lots of money.) ¬†The point is actually to get the writing “out there” and then draw more readers over here. Over time, more readers here means I have “name recognition” and “a platform.”

If I were to have “a platform” then I would have “a very very happy literary agent” and then, I hope, he would make me a very very happy writer with a book deal.

And so the post just doesn’t exist right now. I’m very sorry. You’ll have to trust me it was hysterically funny.

It’s been revamped and sent over to New Christian Voices, which has published me before and which is a nice market. If you like writing the kind of things you’re reading here, whip up one yourself and visit their submission guidelines. They respond quickly and I’ve gotten reasons for my rejections rather than “Dear author: you stink.”

If they accept it, I’ll post a link. You can go read it then.

If they don’t, maybe it wasn’t all that funny to begin with, so you aren’t actually missing out after all!

(But I think you are. You’ll just have to wait a bit.)