Dear Over-21 Residents of Angelborough:
I’m thrilled and delighted to see how environmentally conscious you are. After spending five years in Ithaca, NY, where they invented being “green” and where Al Gore would find himself on the conservative side of things, I was really worried that I might not fit in.
Imagine my delight now that I see how much you love recycling your bottles.
It does my heart no end of good to walk past the bottle collection point and see a dozen or two empties there, awaiting rebirth as tennis balls or park benches or whatever transformations are effected on retired beer containment units.
There appears, however, to have been a mistake. The recycling center is not on my front lawn.
Please adjust your behavior accordingly.
Love,
The Philangelus Household
