On Tuesday I was exhausted because the baby had kept me up all night (teething) so at 2pm I laid down with the baby. Baby fell asleep, and shortly afterward, so did I (that half-sleep where you’re listening just in case your four-year-old decides to build a rocket ship out of parts of your car and power it with home heating oil.)
At some point, I thought, “God, if I fall asleep please let my guardian angel get me up at three for the bus.”
And then I thought, “Although I’m not sure if angels can work miracles…” because at that point I wondered if dueling jackhammers might not be able to awaken me if I fell all the way asleep.
My next idea was of its usual brilliance, the kind you expect from me by now: “Can I send the angels to the bus stop to pick her up?”
Keep in mind: I was in that hazy almost-asleep frame of mind as I imagined the following.
The bus pulls up, and the driver opens the door to see a figure, three stories tall, wielding a sword and shining a golden light. Armored and winged, he thunders, “I am here to pick up the child.”
The bus driver (who is a sweet, funny and caring woman) stares in terror at the figure.
She’s wonderful. I could never do that to her, so I added in a second angel, who said, “Have some cookies,” in the same booming voice, holding out a plate for her.
It occurred to me: in Revelation, angels ride horses. So I put the two angels on horseback.
I imagined Kiddo#2 bounding down off the bus, screaming, “PONIES!” Then reassuring the panicked bus-driver, holding the cookies, “Oh, don’t worry, they’re just Mommy’s guardian angels. And I can ride home!”
She gets lifted up onto one of the saddles, and the angel’s horse leaps over the line of trees in front of our house.
By now, I was snickering in my half-sleep.
Think about it: a scene like the first in the Book of Job, angels lining up to report to the Most High.
Angel: “Father, today I repaired the axle on a bus full of nuns, saving all their lives.”
Next angel: “Father, today I deflected a comet that was about to strike the Earth.”
Angel#1: “Father, I… er… Today I {mumble} {mutter} {mumble}…”
God: “What was that again?”
Angel#1: “…{mumble mumble}…”
God: “Pardon me?”
Angel#1: “I picked up a little girl from the school bus! You’re enjoying this, aren’t you?”
God: “I’m God. Of course I am. And you? What did you do?”
Angel#2: “I helped him.”
God: “It took two of you?”
Angel#2: “She can be a pretty recalcitrant little girl!”
At any rate, 3pm came and I hauled my lazy butt out of bed to go get her from the bus. No angels were harmed during the making of this weblog entry, although during that final scene, I hurt myself laughing.
Love it! (And I hear you about girls that age.)
our bus driver probably still wouldn’t have let the kid off.
she literally waits even if i’m at the edge of my mom’s yard.. less than 30 ft away and clearly visible.
Maybe the angels actually sent you that vision fulfilling your first wish and kept you awake the extra hour. Amusement is better than jackhammers. and they probably appreciated the fact that you laughed so hard at their creation. 🙂
Blueraindrop,we did consider the whole ID thing later on. “I need to see proof that you are who you say you are.”
Booming voiced angel: Well, I have my passport here with authorization to be present on Earth…
Bus driver: This is written in Biblical Hebrew.
Angel: Well…yeah. But that’s what I’ve got.
Bus driver: Sorry. No permission, no kid.
Angel: Should I summon the Lord God and have Him vouch for me?
Bus driver: Only if He can provide a photo ID.
Angel: This is going to be a long day, isn’t it?
(Change scene to before the Throne of the Lord, and use your imagination for the rest.)
Scott, it wouldn’t surprise me if you’re right. But I can’t imagine that any of the household angels wouldn’t secretly have liked to take a jackhammer to me at some point or another. 😉 I certainly deserve it.