Frog And Toad Drive Me Nuts

As you figured after the Little Bear fun, we’re bad people. We can’t take anything seriously, especially a story we’ve read fifty times.

At dinner, my Patient Husband mentioned that someone at work was giving away Frog And Toad books, which he turned down because we own some, and the library owns the rest. I don’t recall how we moved from there out into utter nonsense, but it’s never a far jump to that at our dinner table (either conversationally or nonsense that actually happens at dinner). I guess I mentioned a conversation from long ago on the Gatchaman mailing list, where someone mentioned that Galactor never had a frog mecha, and I’d replied that they had, only it broke down and “needed to be toad.”

(Towed? Get it? Laugh — it’s funny! I’m the only entertainment around here, at least until people put up comments.)

One of the Kiddos then made a comment about “Oh, you mean towed like the car!” and I guess I got possessed by the spirit of Frog and Toad. Because, as I’ve said, after you read a book fifty or a hundred times, it’s kind of wrapped around those neurons in such a way that a crow bar couldn’t loosen it.

“Frog, said Toad,” I began, “my car doesn’t run.”

No, said Frog, it doesn’t. All four tires are flat.

That’s true, said Toad.

And the hood doesn’t shut, said Frog.

That’s true, said Toad.

And the rear-view mirror has fallen onto the floor, said Frog.

That’s true, said Toad.

And the steering wheel has fallen off the dashboard and is on the floor of the car, said Frog.

(At this point,  I would mention, Kiddo#1 was laughing out loud.)

That is true too, said Toad. My car is broken and I cannot drive it anywhere.

Don’t be sad, Toad, said Frog. Perhaps you can fix it.

No, said Toad. I will never be able to drive my car.

Why?, said Frog.

Because I cannot drive, said Toad.

Toad, said Frog, why do you own a car if you can’t drive it?

Well, Frog, said Toad, sometimes I like to sit in my car and dream about the places I could drive. I like to think about the places the roads go, and  how much fun we would have when we got there.

That is a very  nice thing, said Frog.

But now I will have to get rid of my car, said Toad, because it is broken.

Maybe not, said Frog.

So Frog got a lot of dirt, and he filled the back seat. And he got lots of flowers, and he planted them in the dirt. And he and Toad watered the flowers, and they opened the windows, and they stepped back and looked at the car, all full of flowers and plants.

You see, said Frog, we can make the car look very beautiful. And you can still sit in it sometimes and pretend you are driving.

Thank you, Frog, said Toad. Thank you for making my car beautiful again.


  1. Danielle

    Love it!!

  2. Angie

    Haha. Love it. Sounds like you could write Frog and Toad stories in your sleep.

    1. philangelus

      I do a mean Mr. Putter And Tabby story, too. I only wish I were asleep. 🙂

      1. Pat

        I’d love to hear a Mr. Putter and Tabby story from you! But can you really beat “Mr. Putter had not been cute or peppy for a very long time”?

  3. cricketB

    Toot Toot!