“Angelborough Dentistry. May I direct you to housewares?”

More on the Saga Of The Exploding Tooth: the crown is fine, and I am fine.

My flexible spending account is not fine.  I used that to pay for the fees our insurance company would not be paying. As I said to the receptionist about the previous tooth explosion, “the only thing I remember is that a lot of money changed hands,” and once again, so it is.

Except our Flexible Spending Account Provider got rather nervous and wrote us demanding proof that we had, indeed, spent money at the dentist’s office, and that it was for dental work.

Why do I find this ironic? Because all last year, I spent most of our FSA money at CVS for prescriptions and the random OTC medication and never got questioned. In fact, sometimes I’d discover that hand lotion was considered a medical expense. (Dark chocolate, alas, is not.)  And yet not once was I questioned as the money flowed out, despite the fact that CVS sells things such as dark chocolate, slippers, camera cards, and Coca Cola.

Yet at the dentist’s office, where they only sell dentistry, we got questioned.

Perhaps our dentist is behind the times. Do you go to your dentist in order to purchase works of art, make-up, musical instruments, designer clothes and flowers? No? Only for tooth-related issues, you say?

I’m amused and dismayed. The receptionist, however, was not. With the push of a button, she opened a window on her computer for the Cover Your Behind paperwork, then printed an itemized list of every single expense the dentist had ever made on our behalf, right down to the fifteen cents for dental floss, and printed out the whole thing. I’ll be binding them up and hauling all that paperwork over to the Post Offal when I get the chance, assuming the fork lift is free tomorrow.

In the meantime, if you thought of your dentist’s office as the best local source of fine wines, just be warned: the party’s over. They’re onto you.


  1. Mary Nicewarner

    You sure have a way with the written word! Exploding tooth made ME explode with laughter as did your entire post! You must drive your guardian angel [angels?] crazy 😉

    Your blog is making me curious about your book, I’ll have to pick it up.

    1. philangelus

      The book doesn’t have the humor of the weblog. It’s a fairly tense story. The book I’m trying to get published is, however, funny.

  2. cricketB

    FSA is part of an insurance plan, limited to medical expenses? Or is it a bank that knows you do lots of little expenses but, seeing a huge expense all at once, suspects “unusual activity”?

  3. karen ^.,.^

    we’ve had the same issue with dental expenses and our FSA, too. must be a universal – because you know, nobody takes care of their teeth anymore…