comfort food for the mind

I’ve noticed in the past few days that I’m really wanting things that are “gentle.”

In part it’s the exhaustion from having Kiddo#4 (and I’m more tired now than I have been after any other Kiddo. It’s upsetting because he’s a good sleeper so far.) But I think there’s something more.

Being on a hormonal hairtrigger, I’m instinctively moving toward things that don’t upset me. Classical music is on much higher rotation than before the birth (which, to be fair, also happened after Kiddo#2 and Kiddo#3 were born). In fact, I haven’t listened to any pop at all since then. It’s gentler and I’m craving the “slow” movements rather than anything with “allegro” in it. Really. Yet in the past, I’ve been the person to hit the “forward” arrow on my iPod when the slow movement came on.

(Funny note: sometimes, it wouldn’t work. I would push the arrow and the iPod simply would not skip to the next song. I’d push it five times, and it would keep on playing. This never happened with my regular pop-type/rock music, though. I’d laugh because I’m sure it was my guardian angel keeping it there. “I have to listen to enough of your garbage,” I imagine him saying, “and now, you’re going to listen to some of mine.” Well, fair is fair.)

Anyhow, I’ve wanted to be knitting lately, working on my beaded scarf. And because you can’t knit real well while nursing a baby (at least, I cannot) I’ve been grabbing stuff at random off my bookshelf to read while nursing.

Intriguingly, the book I was reading before (“Lord Have Mercy” by Scott Hahn) will not stay in my hands. Neither will the other “good” books I keep meaning to read. I haven’t been reading the newspaper. Instead I reached for my volume of “The Norm” by Michael Jantze, which is a truly gentle comic strip with a subtle sense of humor.

And the next thing I read is a YA book I read many many times as a girl and located again last year, only I hadn’t picked it up until now. Now when I’m finding, I want it.

Instinct is a good thing. I’m insulating myself, “nesting” and holing up and keeping the little one protected by protecting its mother.

Gentle things. Soft things. It’s comfort food for the mind.