Random family craziness

Just in case I’ve lulled you into thinking my family is sane, here are some snapshots of our conversations:

Kiddo#2, at the dinner table: Butter. Butt. Butter.” {long pause} “We need a ‘Buttest.’ Butt-butter-buttest.
Kiddo#1: There’s a Buddhist.
Kiddo#2: Yeah!
Patient Husband: Let’s just stop this line of conversation now.

—

Radio: And for this weekend’s trivia question, what does the average household do 73 times a year?
Kiddo#1: Well, we wouldn’t know. We’re pretty odd.

{As it turns out, my first guess was right. So there!}

—

Kiddo#2, speaking as Kiddo#4 in a high squeaky voice: When I can see half of Momma, that’s good. It means Momma is holding me. When I can see all of Momma, that’s bad. It means she’s not holding me.
Patient Husband: That’s actually really good logic.
—

Kiddo#3, putting his foot on my leg: Did you order for a foot?

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Kiddo#4: {cooing}
Me: Are you saying so many beautiful things?
Some random kid: No. He’s not.

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Kiddo#2: Mom, there’s something wrong with a song on the radio.
Me: Only one?
Kiddo#2: It starts with ‘I’m not a perfect person,’ but nobody’s perfect.

—

Before anyone kills me, the answer to the trivia question was “goes grocery shopping”.